As soon as *Ella's husband touched down in New Zealand, it was like he became a completely different person.

Instead of the generous, kind and perfect man she had fallen in love with - he behaved like a complete tyrant.

He berated her young kids for making too much noise and demanded Ella pay for everything.

But determined to make things work, Ella had no choice but to go along with it - even booking them all tickets to the circus as a family bonding opportunity.

"Just after the circus finished, I got a phone call from my friend saying he was messaging her adult daughter asking for sex and she sent me screen shots," the New Zealand mum-of-three tells Kidspot.

"I confronted him as he was sitting next to me and he didn't answer so I told him to just leave. I was heartbroken and so embarrassed."

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'MY HUSBAND AND I MET IN FIJI'

Ella and her husband had met a few years earlier when she had run a volunteer medical clinic near his home in Fiji.

The pair quickly fell in love, with Ella travelling to visit him four times before he was granted a visa to come to New Zealand.

She even flew her kids, from a previous relationship, over to Fiji meet him and his family.

"I fell in love with the village, the country, his family and him," she explains.

"He seemed hardworking, caring and respectful. Of course, we had arguments but it was mostly about waiting for the visa and being apart from each other."

The couple married in 2017, with Ella's husband finally joining her in New Zealand a year later.

He originally arrived on a tourist visa while he waited for his working visa to be approved.

It was then that his behaviour towards Ella completely changed.

"He was mean to my children and I felt like a referee all the time between him and them," she says.

"He couldn't work, so I was doing two jobs to support us all.

"I paid for his clothes, food, gym membership, trips away to see different parts of New Zealand - absolutely everything."

 

'MY HUSBAND COMPLAINED ABOUT THE HOUSE I BOUGHT HIM'

On top of that, Ella managed to save some cash in order to obtain a mortgage so that they could buy their home.

They moved in shortly after her husband arrived in New Zealand, but he didn't seem that impressed.

"But it wasn't flash enough for him - he complained about all the work it needed and the cleaning and painting," she painfully recalls.

"He comes from the village with no electricity and no running water in the house, no proper toilet even - so that should have been a red flag."

But instead Ella brushed off the comments, certain that if she just gave him some time, he would come to love the house - and appreciate everything that's she had done for him.

But instead the opposite happened, with her husband spending more and more time away from their home.

It was only when Ella's friend discovered he had been with her adult daughter - that reality finally hit.

Ella kicked him out of the house straightaway, with the further revelation that he had also been sleeping with their neighbour cementing that decision.

 

"I'm not sure how many times he actually cheated on me, because he won't say," she says.

"A week later, I found out I had chlamydia and was 34 weeks pregnant. Our baby has clubfeet and he blames me for it, he just says I gave him a cripple son.

"I was absolutely heartbroken to be honest - as well as incredibly embarrassed. All the promises he made about us being a team and working together to pay bills was a lie.

"He hasn't changed and won't. I've realised he has no respect for me or my children.

"It was a hard lesson to learn and a rough couple of years - but I know I've been a good person and I had good intentions. My kids and I are doing fine by ourselves."

*Name has been changed

This article originally appeared on Kidspot and was reproduced with permission

Originally published as Wife discovers husband's rampant cheating


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