TV villain makes bombshell choice
This is a recap of Big Little Lies season 2, episode 4. If you have not yet seen it and don't want to know what happens, leave now.
Big Little Lies' smiling assassin has thrown a giant curve ball in the latest episode, and it's only the beginning of an all-out war.
Mary Louise Wright (Meryl Streep), Perry's mum, strolled into the new season with the conveyed intention to help out widowed Celeste (Nicole Kidman). But it became clear very quickly she was sniffing around for her smoking gun following the death of her son.
Well, now she's shot it, vying for custody of Celeste's boys, Max and Josh, in the most recent episode of BLL, which is now available to stream on Foxtel.
Elsewhere, Madeline (Reese Witherspoon) is desperately trying to win over her husband Ed after she cheated on him, to no avail, and Renata (Laura Dern) throws her eight-year-old daughter a lavish sweet 16th - only she's eight.
Here's what went down in Monterey town.
AMABELLA'S SWEET EIGHTH
Apparently an eight-year-old birthday party doesn't have to be held at McDonald's in Western Sydney, and I'm feeling pretty robbed right now.
Renata Klein's daughter, Amabella, deserves the celebration of the century after her husband, Gordon, was arrested on several charges of fraud and lost all their money.
Renata, who is facing bankruptcy, colossal debt, civil lawsuits and a very likely jail sentence for her husband, does the responsible thing and spends thousands of dollars on a ridiculously lavish disco-themed birthday party for Amabella.
She's doing her best to hold it together for the big day but can't fight her basic instincts to abuse her husband.
"All my plans for Amabella have gone to sh*t," she spits at him. The diamonds frosting the rims of the kids mocktail glasses say otherwise but OK.
There is a live performance act, extensive disco lighting, decorations lining the interior of the beachfront mansion, kids slow dancing with each other to the Bee Gees; it's honestly wild and hard to relate.
That is until the adult dads (Ed and Nathan) start a brouhaha, and now it's starting to look more like the eight-year-old birthdays I went to at McDonald's in Western Sydney.
It's all sunshine and rainbows on the surface, but tensions are really starting to boil over across the board. It's been the calm before the storm and now it's about to pour.
Celeste tells Maddy she wishes they never lied about how Perry died, which of course was Maddy's idea at the time. Bonnie backs Celeste, and this starts the beginning of a detrimental divide.
On the other side of the room, Bonnie's mum, Elizabeth, is acting super weird.
She grabs Bonnie's face and forces her into an involuntary psych reading before having a creepy vision.
She then suffers from a stroke and has a seizure.
The episode then finishes with Elizabeth in hospital dreaming about Bonnie drowning. No doubt this will prove a moment to remember as the series approaches its conclusion in coming episodes.
CELESTE LOSES IT AS MARY LOUISE STRIKES
After being vague and distant in the last three episodes, Celeste finally cracks.
She slaps her mother-in-law, Mary Louise, after she insinuates yet again that Jane wasn't a rape victim of Perry.
Celeste then brings a random bartender home but doesn't actually remember it until he emerges shirtless from her bedroom the next morning at a really inconvenient time.
She is having a coffee in the living room looking really worse for wear the morning after when Mary Louise rocks up with Max and Josh after they all had a sleepover at her house.
"I so wanted to bring the boys to church but Max was adamantly opposed. He thinks God is a douche bag," Mary Louise says.
The fictional character of Max is now being trolled by Israel Folau's official Twitter account.
Cue the topless bartender and Celeste's horrified reaction.
Mary Louise insists Celeste needs to take time to heal. She counteracts this sentiment by demanding custody of the kids.
"I think Max and Josh should reside with me. You're a mess Celeste," she says.
She's been through hell, but Celeste tells her therapist she will "f***ing fight" for custody of her kids. "I will not settle," she demands.
This is going to get ugly.
DETECTIVE QUINLAN TROLLS EVERYONE
The cop investigating Perry's death has not been a strong presence so far this season, but Adrienne Quinlan has finally reared her head just as rifts start to form.
The detective shows up at the hospital after Elizabeth's stroke, and Bonnie does a fantastic job at not drawing attention to herself.
"What the f**k!" Bonnie screams at Quinlan.
Jane ushers her away before a nurse tells Quinlan that Bonnie is the daughter of a patient. "I know who she is," Quinlan murmurs.
Bonnie is the main one with a target on her back after she pushed Perry down the stairs to his death in the first season cliffhanger.
Quinlan then intercepts Renata and Madeline as they have coffee and has her interrogation face on.
In the previous episode, Mary Louise visited Quinlan and asked her about Perry's murder investigation.
"You don't really believe he slipped … Do you?"
It's very clear the direction this is heading.
Big Little Lies new episodes are available to stream on Foxtel every Monday