‘Cheating’ scandal rocks The Block
This episode is all about sack happy Tess, and her long-suffering husband Luke.
Having apparently learned nothing from her hair-trigger firing of their tiler for his apparent "bad attitude" - a move that left them without a tiler at all, and an unfinished guest bathroom - she's now gunning for builder Moz, whose work saw brothers Simon and Shannon win The Block: Glasshouse in 2014.
His crime? A safety violation involving moving an exclusion zone that saw him kicked off site for a day.
He instead directs his trades from the footpath - "He looked like the kid in the playground with head lice," Luke notes - but nothing will dent Tess' enthusiasm to make like pre-presidency Donald Trump and issue a brisk 'you're fired'. Except, she doesn't want to do it herself, she wants Luke to.
Moz graciously saves them both the dirty work and decides to fall on his own sword.
"I'll take full responsibility. It's not working," he tells them, agreeing to stick around until they find a new builder. It's more than most builders would have done.
And if you want a visual representation of the word awkward, watch as they show a prospective new guy around while Moz is still beavering away in the background.
"It's like walking your new boyfriend through your old boyfriend's house," Tess says.
And what a new boyfriend this guy would make, given he apparently thinks he's interviewing for the position of marriage counsellor.
He's more interested in talking about spirituality and Tess and Luke's relationship than his building skills.
"You guys can talk as lovers and bring love into the place," he says.
Which prompts this glorious mangling of the English language from Luke: "Whatever floats your goat, but it's not really my vibe. I just want to build some stuff."
And what stuff does he want to build? Well, this week, it's a formal lounge.
"Our initial plans for the formal lounge were to find out what a formal lounge is," Luke says.
"We're from far north Queensland."
"We found out it was a lounge, just more boring because you can't have a TV," he explains.
Meanwhile, The Block: Gold Rush's first cheating scandal is unfolding, and then petering out before it even gets started.
Mark and Mitch had taken a punt on the formal lounge being the next room and ordered their timber the day before work started. Matt smells a rat, and accuses them of breaking the rule about contestants not being allowed to get ahead. He's so miffed he uses the C word.
"I'm really annoyed at that, that's cheating," he says.
Nope Matt, it's within the rules, and you're just sore you didn't think of it.
Later the contestants discover a glass covered niche which they can break in an emergency to claim $20,000 worth of free tradies. The catch is, it has to be an emergency, and only one team can use it per week.
The niche is hidden behind pictures of Scott Cam in ye olde worlde gear.
"You know what I always say," says Mitch wistfully, as he removes the picture. "You've gotta love an old fella."
Cam is momentarily lost for words.
And elsewhere Jesse keeps being Jesse-ish. He and Mel want to put a hallway in so the front door doesn't open into the formal lounge, something The Block architect didn't factor into his plans. It's actually a fair call, but Jesse can't help but big up himself while he's at it.
"I would say the architect doesn't live in St Kilda, like I do. And he doesn't sell real estate in St Kilda, like I do," he notes.
He's already made an enemy of Scotty, Keith and Dan. Now he can add the architect to the list.
Originally published as 'That's cheating'. Timber controversy ruffles feathers