Greg Bray.
Greg Bray. Brenda Strong GLA170212GREG

On a Lighter Note: Don’t play their game on Census day

FOLKS, it's probably a little hard to tell from the accompanying photo, but my real name is Greg "The Fireball'' Choccydoodah Bray, and I'm an Albanian budgie wrangling Jedi Knight with 70 children.

Actually, that's not entirely true. I'm hopeless with untamed budgies, but that name is still the frontrunner to appear on my census form later this year.

Now, earnest people have informed me that I should fill out the census form properly, because the information collected is vital for my region's future infrastructure needs, eg. schools, hospitals, roads, internet.

If you'll excuse me a moment - baaahahahahaaaa.

In my experience, government funding works like this: if your region votes in Party A's candidate, but Party B wins the election, then trust me, your district is not going to be showered with government cash any time soon.

Governments do not reward naughty voters, unless they happen to be in very, very marginal electorates.

So why do we have to fill in the census if it's not for government funding? Well, I'm glad you asked, because I think I've stumbled upon the answer: compliance.

As we have seen of late, government is not about creating inspiring, forward-thinking leadership but is a self-serving game of power and control. And the best way to determine just how compliant the "sheeple'' are is to conduct a census and see how many of them take it seriously.

Mind you, the government should take heart that most of us aren't cynical enough to use the census forms as toilet paper. Yet.

So this is your chance, outside of an election, to mirror all the respect our current leaders have been showing us. Which is why this previously unheard of tribe of Albanian, Jedi Knight, budgie wranglers will no longer be playing their silly little game.

Greg Bray blogs at

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