Ex-partners come together to stop harmful separations

LET’S KEEP THINGS CIVIL: Kalina Michalowska says the idea behind My X Day can be extended beyond ex-partners to former employers and colleagues.
LET’S KEEP THINGS CIVIL: Kalina Michalowska says the idea behind My X Day can be extended beyond ex-partners to former employers and colleagues. John Mccutcheon

WHILE some may say it is not possible to remain friends with your ex, Highworth resident Kalina Michalowska says maintaining a civil relationship is vital in lessening the impacts of a separation on children, family and friends.

The organiser of yesterday's "My X Day" at Cotton Tree Park, Ms Michalowska said her own personal story was not about her relationship with her former partners, but rather about how she had acted as a mediator when the relationship of two mutual friends began to break down.

"I was spending a lot of time talking to each of them even though I wasn't close with him, more his girlfriend," she said.

"I spent a lot of time talking to them to make sure they didn't make unnecessary statements or threats."

Is it possible to have a real relationship with an ex?

This poll ended on 17 May 2016.

Current Results

Yes, it's easy.


Yes but it's tough.


No. It's impossible.


No. You shouldn't even try.


This is not a scientific poll. The results reflect only the opinions of those who chose to participate.

Now in its second year, My X Day is a not-for-profit community project that encourages communication, forgiveness and friendship between people who have separated.

Ms Michalowska said children were often used as a weapon in bitter separations.

"But there are also some people ... they make the commitment that no matter what happens to them the child is the priority," she said.

"The child is number one... we have to look at the impact on children."

Ms Michalowska said, however, the idea behind My X Day could be extended beyond couples to include former employers and colleagues.

"The quality of life is directly related to the quality of our relationships," she said. "I looked at my relationships with my ex-partners and ex-employers ... and I have restored all my relationships.

"People may not find that it's important to be friends with an ex, but not being on good terms with them really affects the quality of life."

A host of community members spoke at yesterday's event, including Sunshine Coast councillor Jenny McKay, Act 4 Tomorrow divorce consultant Alvia Turney, Family Dispute Resolution practitioner Marie Bampton, Boughton Legal representative Jo Boughton and Min Swan from White House Celebrations.

Ms Michalowska said due to poor weather, numbers at this year's event were down compared to last year.


  • How to improve your relationship with your ex:
  • Have respect for everything that has happened in your life.
  • With that comes appreciation and acknowledgement of the ex.
  • Don't ruin your own life by hating someone.
  • Don't be quiet, communicate.

Topics:  children domestic violence

Stay Connected

Update your news preferences and get the latest news delivered to your inbox.

'Conspiracy theory' comment cited as coal tussle reignited

Tanya Plant and Aileen Harrison celebrate a decision last month denying New Acland an environmental authority. But NAC has gone back to court, asking a judge to review last year's Land Court ruling on the same expansion plan.

Judge's 'robust' language a bone of contention 

South West Hospital welcomes doctors

WELCOME TO THE TEAM: Dr Talia Trigger will be starting in Surat in April.

Two new doctors will be joining the South West Hospital team.

How's the serenity? Coal battle blasts off

High-profile barrister Saul Holt QC, in red tie, is appearing for Oakey Coal Action Alliance, one of three defendants in the case New Acland has brought.

Comedy classic collides with New Acland coal battle

Local Partners